Experience Love

I’ve been feeling a little convicted about my negative outlook on life. Thinking over the things I have already posted on this blog, I think it’s pretty incredible that I’ve actually said anything at all that was self-affirming or uplifting to you as readers. Maybe I should read this blog more often…

The truth is that I’ve been quite introspective since leaving the bubble of college life. It’s easy to think the whole rest of your life is going to go skyrocketing faster than you can say, “Wait for me!” The idealist in me still says that someday my life really is going to take off that quickly, even if that day isn’t tomorrow. Really, I just need to come to terms with “contentment” and not “settling” for what seems attainable.

I’ve been doing a study called Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. If you haven’t heard of it, you can easily hit up Google, but I’d rather you hear about it from someone who’s reading/digesting it now: it is one of the most challenging and edifying way to study the Bible you’ll find out there.

You wanna know it’s secret? It focuses on how God wants to know us by showing His love and by speaking through His Word.

After five weeks of pouring over countless examples of God’s intimate relationships with people (like how God called Moses, a man who is a self-diagnosed stutterer and who not too keen on speaking to crowds, to not only lead Israel out of Egypt but also to write down the 10 Commandments), I realized that I’ve been ignoring what relating to God looks like in my life for far too long!

More importantly, I’ve had a few things wrong from the beginning. For example, when God says He loves me, He means it. Why else would Jesus lay down His divine place to die for me? Little old me, the whiner who over-analyzes everything. And when He says He has plans for me and that everything (even the bad, ugly things) are part of His love, He also means what He says. {Jeremiah 29:11 & Romans 8:28}

Part of this negativity is that I haven’t even thought about the purpose God gave me when He made me. I have believed all my life that God always calls His people to do the most difficult things in the world and that even if you knew what you were supposed to do. From a human stand point, that is true.

But from the point of view of someone who is in love with God, you would do anything to please Him because you trust that He will never let you down.

All this time, I’ve been obsessing over trying to find out what God’s will is and then showing my perception of it to Him like we all did as kids when we displayed our finger paint and scribble-art to Mom, Dad, Grandma, and whoever else wanted to see. But instead of deciphering the mysteries of the universe, I ought to focus on what I understand: God’s unending love. Sharing His love with others is the foundation of His will for me.

If I ain’t doing that, I ain’t living.


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